So I'm thinking of joining roller derby. I'm excited, and this should be fun! Thoughts?
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I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT, IT WAS A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE ACTUALLY. THE WORST PART WAS THAT IT SEEMED SO REAL, I WOKE UP SO AFRAID. HOWEVER FOR YOU TO REALLY UNDERSTAND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT OVER MY WINTER BREAK FROM SCHOOL I WENT HOME AND MADE A CHOICE I SHOULDN'T HAVE, I SLEPT WITH TAYLOR AGAIN. THE ONE GUY WHO I CAN NEVER ACTUALLY BE WITH FOR REASONS BESIDES THE POINT.
ANYHOW, THE DREAM STARTS AND I AM ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MISSED A PERIOD AND I'M TELLING MYSELF THAT IT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE, I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL. SO OBVIOUSLY THE NEXT THING TO DO IS TAKE A TEST... I. AM. PREGNANT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? I'M FREAKING OUT AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYBODY TO TALK TO BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS. I CAN'T TELL MY BEST FRIEND OR MY PARENTS, I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN STUPID? WHAT'S WORSE? I HAVE TO TELL THE FATHER. OH HOLY HELL. MY HEART STARTS BEATING FASTER AS I DIAL HIS NUMBER, WHAT IF HE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME? WHAT IF HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS? WHY AM I ASKING MYSELF THESE QUESTIONS WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO? HE ANSWERS WITH, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I CAN TELL THAT THIS ISN’T GOING TO BE PLEASANT SO I BLURT, “I DON'T WANT ANYTHING, I'M PREGNANT AND IT'S YOURS.” AND THAT IS WHEN I WOKE UP. THIS WAS PROBABLY THE MOST TERRIFYING DREAM I HAVE HAD IN A LONG WHILE. I THINK ITS FUNNY HOW WHAT WE CONSIDER A NIGHTMARE CHANGES AS WE DO. FROM MONSTERS UNDER THE BED TO UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY. I'LL TAKE THOSE MONSTERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. SWEET DREAMS ALWAYS, GUMDROP Today I had a conversation with the neighbors on my floor. We were talking about weddings and chocolate, so hear me out...
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gumdropThe story of me will never be complete. Archives
June 2017
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