I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT, IT WAS A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE ACTUALLY. THE WORST PART WAS THAT IT SEEMED SO REAL, I WOKE UP SO AFRAID. HOWEVER FOR YOU TO REALLY UNDERSTAND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT OVER MY WINTER BREAK FROM SCHOOL I WENT HOME AND MADE A CHOICE I SHOULDN'T HAVE, I SLEPT WITH TAYLOR AGAIN. THE ONE GUY WHO I CAN NEVER ACTUALLY BE WITH FOR REASONS BESIDES THE POINT.
ANYHOW, THE DREAM STARTS AND I AM ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MISSED A PERIOD AND I'M TELLING MYSELF THAT IT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE, I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL. SO OBVIOUSLY THE NEXT THING TO DO IS TAKE A TEST... I. AM. PREGNANT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? I'M FREAKING OUT AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYBODY TO TALK TO BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS. I CAN'T TELL MY BEST FRIEND OR MY PARENTS, I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN STUPID? WHAT'S WORSE? I HAVE TO TELL THE FATHER. OH HOLY HELL. MY HEART STARTS BEATING FASTER AS I DIAL HIS NUMBER, WHAT IF HE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME? WHAT IF HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS? WHY AM I ASKING MYSELF THESE QUESTIONS WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO? HE ANSWERS WITH, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I CAN TELL THAT THIS ISN’T GOING TO BE PLEASANT SO I BLURT, “I DON'T WANT ANYTHING, I'M PREGNANT AND IT'S YOURS.”
AND THAT IS WHEN I WOKE UP. THIS WAS PROBABLY THE MOST TERRIFYING DREAM I HAVE HAD IN A LONG WHILE. I THINK ITS FUNNY HOW WHAT WE CONSIDER A NIGHTMARE CHANGES AS WE DO. FROM MONSTERS UNDER THE BED TO UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY. I'LL TAKE THOSE MONSTERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
SWEET DREAMS ALWAYS,
GUMDROP
ANYHOW, THE DREAM STARTS AND I AM ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MISSED A PERIOD AND I'M TELLING MYSELF THAT IT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE, I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL. SO OBVIOUSLY THE NEXT THING TO DO IS TAKE A TEST... I. AM. PREGNANT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? I'M FREAKING OUT AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYBODY TO TALK TO BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS. I CAN'T TELL MY BEST FRIEND OR MY PARENTS, I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN STUPID? WHAT'S WORSE? I HAVE TO TELL THE FATHER. OH HOLY HELL. MY HEART STARTS BEATING FASTER AS I DIAL HIS NUMBER, WHAT IF HE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME? WHAT IF HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS? WHY AM I ASKING MYSELF THESE QUESTIONS WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO? HE ANSWERS WITH, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I CAN TELL THAT THIS ISN’T GOING TO BE PLEASANT SO I BLURT, “I DON'T WANT ANYTHING, I'M PREGNANT AND IT'S YOURS.”
AND THAT IS WHEN I WOKE UP. THIS WAS PROBABLY THE MOST TERRIFYING DREAM I HAVE HAD IN A LONG WHILE. I THINK ITS FUNNY HOW WHAT WE CONSIDER A NIGHTMARE CHANGES AS WE DO. FROM MONSTERS UNDER THE BED TO UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY. I'LL TAKE THOSE MONSTERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
SWEET DREAMS ALWAYS,
GUMDROP