Every time I think I have all of my ducks in a row... I turn around, and one of those bitches is waddling off!
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When I think about it, my ducks are kind of just running in all different directions these days, I don't know what I want or what to do with myself. Things just keep getting more and more complicated, not that anybody would really know that... I'm sure it's mostly just in my head. I tend to over think things, I over thought my feelings for a friend and over thought my feelings for "Claudia." We're all friends here, right? Honestly, I just keep loosing my ducks.. It's a lot like losing your marbles except you know exactly what you are supposed to be doing and just cant actually get it done. Right now my ducks seem superficial, and I won't say they're not because they mostly are. let's take a look at my senior ducks first: Prom: who's going to ask me? likely nobody. Will I even have a date? we'll see, Maria will go with me if nobody asks me. Squeezy said she would go with me, I'd like to call her bluff. What will I wear for a dress? I want to wear a cool corset steam punk style dress, nobody thinks I could pull it off. I would love to try, but I don't want people to think i look dumb. Can I even afford to go to prom? Not really. Do I want to go? With a date, yes. School: what are my plans for college? I haven't figured that out yet, great priorities huh... but hey, I'm taking the ACT in February, so that's a step in the right direction. what am i going to do about my future? I just want to be happy doing whatever I end up doing, so right now i really just don't know. I'm expected to get a great paying job and just figure it out, how am i supposed to do that? It's stressful, i wouldn't recommend it to anybody... Friends: Who really cares enough to be friends with me? A select few really. I'm nuts, and suffer from anxiety to the max. Will i end up alone? More than likely. On the bright side, I'm alive and well that's good enough for now. I'll find those damn ducks later, and I will be on my way. My advice, find a good book, and just escape reality for a few chapters.. If not for the entire book...