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I love to help people, as much as I say I don't.. I do. I love to listen to what people have to say, what they think and what stories and questions they have. I love to hear about peoples relationships that they have and give my not so expert advice. This also helps me in my own advice needing adventures because I can usually think of a time that I gave advice to a friend about a similar problem or situation. However sometimes, such as today I just feel as if I am drowning. My classes are suffering and I can't just get this feeling of dread out of my mind. I try to focus on my studies and I still catch myself daydreaming about this one guy, granted I'm beginning to think of him less often now, I have been given some information about how he's been acting personally, with a close friend of his and I think he is being kind selfish, and not very good. On the other hand things between me and Shaun are getting better and worse at the same time, He said he still loves me and that he misses holding me and kissing me. I can't say that I don't miss that too, but we cant do that again. I need to get him off my mind and he has to get me off his, but I don't know how to accomplish that, I like to talk to him and I think I kind of gravitate towards him. The only guy I want to be my rebound has no interest in me. Anyhow, I don't think I can do the rebound thing. Meaningless sex or whatever the definition of that will be. I'm feeling so bad and alone, I want to be strong and independent and have such an amazing life. But I'm not Strong and Independent, I want somebody special in my life. I want that guy who is confident, attractive (I know I am shallow), and funny who treats me like a princess. I know I've been talking about boys a lot, but that has been the easiest distraction for me this month. Oh, another guy thing that has been on my mind, a new friend apparently has a crush on me. which is kinda cute, but I still can't figure out how to handle that situation. The next few days are going to be stressful and very very interesting and maybe even eventful. I have a new goal for the next few posts of mine... names, I can't keep worrying that somebody is going to dislike me or get upset with me for my thoughts. It's not like anybody is really even reading the stuff I'm writing anymore. I'm going to start adding my poetry and short stories here eventually too. Fun fun.
To all of you who have made it this far, have a lovely evening.
sincerely,
Gumdrop
To all of you who have made it this far, have a lovely evening.
sincerely,
Gumdrop